when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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