I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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