Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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