Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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