What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Don't tell me you're on acid again
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
