i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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