Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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