my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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