also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The power of my boobs compel you
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
