THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
