god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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