Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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