I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
