The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
