i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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