We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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