i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
