so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
