I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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