Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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