We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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