Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
