I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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