And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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