I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
