haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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