She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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