I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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