i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
