like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
