That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
