Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
