so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
