Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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