So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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