Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
why is half of my head shaved?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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