My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
