Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
