hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
