now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
