I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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