Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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