apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
