Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
