it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
