worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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