escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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