Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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