I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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