Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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