white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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