Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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