Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
