Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
As shirtless as possible
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
