i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
