He asked me if I "almost moaned"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
