Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize