While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
