i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
