i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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