I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
