Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
