Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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