Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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