Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
