I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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