You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
