I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
