you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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