I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize