My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
