love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
