I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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