So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
