i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
