what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
