i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
