I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
