I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
