I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
