I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
